Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Keep Moving Forward

My father passed away at the end of September. And I find that the long-held and often given advice of "give it time, it will get better" is true, but that the advice rides shotgun with the Dorothy Parker line of "What fresh hell is this?" at any given moment when I abruptly remember that he is no longer with us.

To add to the scenario, he was our kiddos' last surviving grandparent. It is a downright off-putting feeling to lose that last pillar of strength - not a safety net so much as a source of help, advice, silent support...and while I know that at 44, I am most certainly an adult entirely on my own, it always gave me stability, knowing that my dad was around to talk to. As if you are steadily leaning on someone that is hundred of miles away.

That being said, we are now entering the holiday season, which leads to the question of how to establish new traditions that pay tribute to former traditions that are now no longer able to be celebrated. So we are looking forward to having our "own" holidays, but also are sort of dreading the feeling of nothing being how it used to be.

So, in the midst of all this, we are working, cleaning, washing, sweeping, mowing, laundering, learning, crying, laughing, fighting, driving, eating, shopping, touring, living -- and remembering that it really is our job, our obligation, to "keep moving forward", as Walt Disney said.

We keep moving forward, with the past in our pockets, close to our hearts.

1 comment:

  1. What a great tribute to your dad. There's nothing that takes away the pain really--but there's also nothing that can ever take away the feelings and memories you have about being his daughter. Corny--but true. And bravo--any time you can quote Dorothy Parker--you know you're on the right path! Holidays are hard. My mother still looks at the chairs that used to be filled by her parents--and now they are filled by her grandchildren.