Sweetarts are my Sweethearts

I'm going out on a limb here and guessing in advance that Valentine's Day will be a complete wash-out around here. Don't get me wrong - we're a loving bunch around here, with a bumper crop of hugs given out on a daily basis by everyone except the aquatic turtles. But with the high level of distraction we have been operating under due to the over-abundance of snow, both my husband and myself have honestly not given V-day one moment of thought. Add to that the fact that this Friday will mark the 10th (11th?) day of school closures, and therefore there will be no classroom V-day fest for the two elementary school attendees, and the result is: crap-on-a-cracker Valentine's Day festivities.

One saving grace, however -- Sweetart Hearts. It is pathetic to admit this, but I buy these suckers two bags at a time, initially in an attempt to keep them all to myself. But then it became entertaining to get the rest of the family hooked. So now Sweetart dust is covering certain parts of the kitchen counter where the crock of Sweetarts resides.

Don't blame me if the CVS and Target nearest me are out. I only bought their remaining inventory.

Snow effects

Here is where the snow measured on Saturday night, February 6. This was all
"new" snow - as opposed to the old snow (some VERY old, dating back to oh, the last blizzard on Dec. 20 - yep, it's still taking up space all over the yard).











And here is our lovely nest, looking quite "gingerbread-like" in the snow. The beauty of this photo is the fact we have electricity!

And now it is today - Tuesday, February 9, and we are awaiting the arrival of the first flakes of the really "NEW" snow, scheduled to start falling any minute now. Yes, we are thrilled to hear another 7-14" of snow is predicted over the next 24 hours. But this time, the snow is bringing its pal "high wind gusts", so this time could prove even more interesting...

After the snowstorm...

It is 9:30 on Sunday, February 7. My 3 younger boys are just awakening in their father's office where we have been camping since Friday evening. The oldest is off with one or another crew, doing what he can to be helpful. I'm beginning to pack up our nesting materials, with the intent of returning to our rightful nest later today.

Stafford County (and all of northern Virginia and the National Capital Region) has been hit with yet another significant snowfall - 19" according to our front yard, but over 24" have fallen in north Stafford County, and over 30" in part of Maryland and western counties in Virginia, so we did get a little lucky, as it were. Since we have lost power during snowstorms before, and this one promised to be a "big 'un", we made the call (with considerable pushing by my husband) to relocate the fam to a safer place with backup power. As it turns out, the power in our neighborhood stayed on, so we are going home in short order.

I've been able to do all of my necessary work for VDEM, which has been a huge help. And our boys have been simply outstanding in their ability to "roll with the punches". Virtually no complaining, and just a little bit of restlessness. Thank goodness for imaginations, cable television, Nintendo DSi's, and iPods. And snacks - particularly Spicy CheezIts and Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream. Between all of those options, they kept themselves busy while their Dad and I did the work the snow event required of us.

One of the upsides of the all-in-on-room situation is that a freshly woken twin came and climbed into my lap, nestling himself back to sleep for a few minutes. I know these moments are not going to happen all that regularly as we move along the age-line. And I will stop everything I am doing when these moments come along. There is nothing to compare with burying your nose into the hair of a boy snuggled against you...

So on we go, moving forward into the snow-laden beyond. : )

Meandering my way through the holidays

It is December 14. 11 days until Christmas. To say I am "behind the eight ball" is to put a very mild spin on the situation.

And oddly enough, for the first time that I can remember, the pressure of running behind is really getting to me. Don't misunderstand - I run behind on a regular basis, and it OFTEN gets to me -- but being short on time at the holidays? Big deal!

But for some reason, it IS a big deal to me this year. I can feel the pressure in my chest. Ugh.

The tree is up, the lights are on, and about 1/3 of the ornaments are on the tree. The yard has been decorated since late November, thanks to Rob, and various decorations are showing themselves around the house. So I am not a complete putz. Nevertheless, I do feel quite putz-like.

All of that being said, I adore Christmas. The music, the movies, the houses lit up within an inch of their lives along neighborhood streets, the gift-hunting, the gift-giving, the food, the parties --- most specifically, the Christmas party Rob and I throw each year at our house. It is a source of angst and ridiculous amount of preparation squished into the 24 hours BEFORE the party, but it invariably turns out to be a grand ole time!

At any rate, the pressure of Christmas is currently mixed in with every other week phone calls with my siblings regarding my father's estate. And perhaps that is the source of the weight that is settling on my chest every damn day. It is an awful thing to discuss the distribution of the parts and parcels of a person's life. And it gets harder when we discover that out of the seven kids, more than one of us (of course) find particular parts and parcels to be equally important and therefore must find a way to decide who gets what.

Trust me, it is ridiculously unpleasant.

Now I must move forward in my holiday quest to figure what ELSE I have neglected to do/find/call/write or pay...

Keep Moving Forward

My father passed away at the end of September. And I find that the long-held and often given advice of "give it time, it will get better" is true, but that the advice rides shotgun with the Dorothy Parker line of "What fresh hell is this?" at any given moment when I abruptly remember that he is no longer with us.

To add to the scenario, he was our kiddos' last surviving grandparent. It is a downright off-putting feeling to lose that last pillar of strength - not a safety net so much as a source of help, advice, silent support...and while I know that at 44, I am most certainly an adult entirely on my own, it always gave me stability, knowing that my dad was around to talk to. As if you are steadily leaning on someone that is hundred of miles away.

That being said, we are now entering the holiday season, which leads to the question of how to establish new traditions that pay tribute to former traditions that are now no longer able to be celebrated. So we are looking forward to having our "own" holidays, but also are sort of dreading the feeling of nothing being how it used to be.

So, in the midst of all this, we are working, cleaning, washing, sweeping, mowing, laundering, learning, crying, laughing, fighting, driving, eating, shopping, touring, living -- and remembering that it really is our job, our obligation, to "keep moving forward", as Walt Disney said.

We keep moving forward, with the past in our pockets, close to our hearts.

Choosing children

I was thinking recently about what makes a person decide to have children, and what makes a person decide not to have children. I have always said that I can appreciate the decision to not have children - I mean, obviously, you would save a great deal of money, and time, and stress. It does not take a genius to see that as an adult, your life would certainly be your own to a greater extent, and that your career could take a greater role. Heck, your marriage, if you chose to go that route, could even gain, I suppose, by having a greater amount of time to spend on one another.

One day last week, though, I was watching one of my younger kiddos sleep. He happened to be right next to me, sleeping in bed with my husband and I, early in the morning. This is not a baby or a toddler - this is a 7 year old, very nearly 8 - yet nevertheless, looking at his face, I found myself overcome with a feeling of...I'm not sure I know how to describe it.

I looked at him, and all in one moment I again (because I have felt this before) recognized that this human being was mine, in a way nothing else ever will be, and that his face and his hair and his long fingers are all a result of two people who love him so entirely and completely. And I felt that overpowering pull of protectiveness, possessiveness, pride - all of those things that make a parent a parent. That pull that made me reach out and lay my hand on his face, and stare at him as if he was about to disappear. Looking at him and knowing him.

THAT - that feeling I am completely failing to describe entirely appropriately? THAT is one of many reasons I count my blessings that I have children.

I do not want to go through my life - my particular life - without having that. Without knowing I don't have that. I realize that with all things being relative, a person who chose not to have children would not realize he/she was missing that feeling. It is impossible to miss what you don't know you are missing. BUT - I know, because I have made another decision, that I would not want to live without having THAT feeling knit into my very self.

All of my boys bring out that emotion at varying times, and I try to at least for a second capture that feeling when it comes and swats me in the face.

I capture it so that when I am hollering at the pack to tone down their voices, and when I am reminding everyone to throw dirty clothes down the laundry chute instead of on the nearest floor, and when I am making the fourth trip of the day to or from a football field, school or grocery....I can always reach around and remember that yes, I did choose this life, and that in spite of the daily insanity and the fraying of the nerves --- I am so damn glad this is the life I chose.

Summer Catch-Up

I wonder how many times it is considered kosher to say you are still "catching up" to summertime and its endless ability to make mush out of a previously scheduled life.

It is nearly criminal for me to complain at the moment, however, as it is a lovely 83 degrees here in northern Virginia, and it is sunny and not all too humid. Furthermore, I'm sitting on my screened-in porch, with two children outside playing and two elder children inside playing (Xbox, anyone?), and it is the first semblance of peace I have had all day.

I get limited feedback to my blog, but I hope to someday gain insight as to how other parents feel about certain issues. I find myself wound pretty tight about very few things, but boy, the ones that get me going are ones I cannot get over. Some issues I question:

1. Use of candy in school as motivation and/or reward. I don't consider myself an antique, but I can say that candy was never distributed by a teacher in any of the schools I went to. I have to be frank and say that I do "get" why teachers might rely on candy, but I don't have any appreciation for it.

2. Are sports camps now a requirement for a kiddo to be considered a "serious" athlete? Summer is just one specialty sport camp after another for some kids I know, and I have no problem admitting that I don't get it.

3. If my eldest (14 y/o) is to be believed, I am in a class by myself in not permitting him to see "R" movies without heavy parental involvement (as in I or my husband see the movie first or view it with him). Honestly, this has come up at least 4 times already this summer, and I know he is being factual about some of his pals, but c'mon - explain why any 14 y/o should be allowed to see "Bruno" or "The Hangover"?

I've seen "The Hangover", and its level of raunch made me regretful of the $$$ spent to see it!

I'll stop there - feedback would be greatly appreciated, though. Those are things I find myself thinking about, and they are nuts I just can't crack.

Final note for today: stumbled upon an old fave candy at Cracker Barrel this weekend: Tootsie Pop Drops. Anyone else remember these? "The Tootsie Pop Without The Stick". Can't tell you the last time I found these - a small thing that made me extraordinarily happy.